Can someone give me some English Spanish translation help.?

I want to make a Spanish friend (girl) laugh so want some spanish lines so that I can read them out to her over dinner in a Spanish restaurant where people will eavesdrop. She knows I'm useless at the language so be fun to suprise her!



Suggestions please!Can someone give me some English Spanish translation help.?
C谩maron que se duerme se lo lleva la chingada
The shrimp that falls asleep gets carried away by the f*cker

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Can someone give me some English Spanish translation help.?
you can say to her:



"Antes no quise sorprenderte con lo avanzado de mi espa帽ol, pero como puedes ver domino esa lengua a la perfecci贸n". Adem谩s hablo 178 idiomas y 79 dialectos.Can someone give me some English Spanish translation help.?
Yo quiero uno sopa de gato, perro, mono, y muchos animales del zoologico
Me gustar铆a tocarte.



Chupa mi verga, mi amor.



You'll either get slapped or laughed at.